My first fag

Date: 31st May, 2005
Time: 9:57 p.m.
Venue: DA-IICT Hostel, Terrace
Company: ***CENSORED***

Now half of the guys reading this would be thinking, "one more to join the club" whereas the other half might be shrugging off their shoulders with the thought, "one more youth down the drain".

But why can it not be somewhere in between? Why can one not just take a puff or two(or a fag or two, for that matter) just for the sake of satisfying ones inherent curiosity which takes birth and gets nutured, thanks to the company around you, to the extent that you get somehow compelled enough to kill it before it threatens to harm you in any way. It is all about what is it that drives you. If you let the curiosity take the lead and have its way with you, you might be looking for trouble brewing up in the near future. But if you let your conscience do the driving and you manage to hold-on to its reins, then there is not much to fear of other than that of crossing those mental-blocks which one usually creates just to make sure they do not fall into the wrong track. But I see no harm in going slightly out of the way in satisfying your curiosity than to yearn for it throughout your life.

This reminds me of a small tale -
There used to be two friends, one of whom was a regular worshipper of God and followed all the rules and regulations laid by his religion quite strictly. While the other was quite the opposite. He used to follow the lead of his desires without giving second thoughts to his religious principles or anything of that sort that governs the well-being of a person. Not stretching it too long, I'd just point out that when both of them had to face an unfortunate accident and succumbed to their injuries, the person who used to be governed by his desires was sent to Heaven while the one who spent the whole of his life in worshipping was sent to Hell.

This infuriated the latter to no end. So he approached God with his complaint, to know what had he done wrong and what had his friend done right to have to face such consequences. God replied him saying, "Its true, you have been worshipping me throughout your life and have devoted all your time and efforts in my name but all the time that you were doing it your attention was towards your friend who used to enjoy whole day long and make the best of his time in every manner possible. So you longed to spend away your time like him and did all that you did for me just for the sake of completing your duty to attain karma after death. whereas your friend though has whiled away his life in deeds which one would not approve of but all the time that he was doing them his attention was towards you and he used to constantly think of Me. He used to regret for doing what he used to do and wished he could spend some time like you in my worship. So eventually no matter what both of you have done on the exterior, but from within your concentration was towards him and his was towards you."

In relating this tale, my intention is not for you to start worshipping God day-in and day-out and all that sort. What I'm trying to bring out is that, its not always the deed that matters but the intention behind it and the driving force that compels you to comit it. As long as one is aware of its consequences and has a control over his desires all goes fine. Just shying away from it will keep you longing for it all the more. Rather satisfy your curiosity and then try to steer away from it if you so wish.